I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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