We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize