i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
