That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
