i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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