dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
