I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
