Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize