I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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