That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
