Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
