and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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