How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
