someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
