He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
