would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
