He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize