just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
