what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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