Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
