i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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