You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Randomize
