Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
