Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just google imaged poop.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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