So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
