I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
