Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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