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Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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