Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize