this beer tastes like vomit already
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
