Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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