he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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