Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
