We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
