Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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