My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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