Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
