Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
