If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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