You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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