he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
