I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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