im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize