you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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