So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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