Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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