When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
