dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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