Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
