dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
