Pants 0. Shit 1.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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