Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize