hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
