i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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