Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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