and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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