if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
