Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
