I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
