I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
