how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize