Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
