Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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