so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
