The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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