I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize