i think my tv is drunk
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
