Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My penis needs a shock collar
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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