you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Mom said you looked used
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize